– Did you ever call Dana “Ma’am”?
– I did once and it was awful.

The Khaleesi from DC.

Nobody can know about this, alright? Especially Kent. And why is that? Because he’s going to use it against me…

Hey, we should send POTUS a postcard from Paris.  What’s the French for “shove it up your ass”?

I’m the Vice President of the United States, you stupid little fuckers!

I’m not really great with illness or death or basic empathy but I just want to say I’m sorry about your dad and I think you’re being really brave.

- My family was guilt tripping the shit out of me and so I exaggerated so I could come visit. Besides, a dying dad can be a get out of jail free card.

- Wow, that is cold. Also, kind of hot.